I’m FAT, not CURVY

As you can tell by the title… This blog post will be la sad (and angry and annoyed). I know I should probably be sleeping because I have somewhere to be tomorrow but I really needed to write this post.

This “issue” came up when I got tired of only wearing jeans outside of my home because I always look like a middle aged women in knee length shorts and googled how fat girls should wear them.After googling I found a post featuring pictures and advice for literally only curvy women. Women with barely any fat, lots of muscle, lean thighs and flat tummies, big busts and bums, model types. Which made me realize that everywhere look and search, fat is treated as if it doesn’t exist. Well guess what America? It does.

I… am fat. I’m going to be fat for a long time, just like a lot of other individuals in this country. And no, I didn’t choose to be fat. I didn’t choose to be addicted to sugar. I didn’t choose to make healthier food options more expensive. I didn’t choose to be mocked into a person who is so fat conscious that going clothes shopping and to the gym and even to doctor’s appointments is embarrassing to the point that I leave the room to cry in a bathroom stall. I didn’t choose that for myself, and quite frankly I don’t know anyone else who has. BUT IF THEY DID… why is that anyone’s business but theirs?

I absolutely hate it when I hear people say things like: “Just eat better. Workout. You’ll be skinny someday! You’re not fat, you’re beautiful. I know plenty of people love curvy girls.” What the–

#1: I do TRY to eat better. I know that sugar is my weakness. And who says I’m not? 15% of body fat doesn’t just disappear overnight. Thanks. (Oh, and by the way, constantly asking me out to eat fancy desserts isn’t exactly helping at all, my chingus.)

#2: I’ve been dancing since I was 8. There are definitely muscles under all of this fat that I should be so ashamed of, and I personally don’t think that is really the problem. Thanks.

#3: Maybe I won’t. I’m kind of absolutely okay with that. Maybe I’ll just be healthy and not overweight and have tight muscles to show off instead of the fat that you make me so afraid to let see the light of day. Thanks.

#4: You’re not a jerk, you’re just stupid.

#5: Not curvy. NOT. CURVY. There is a completely NON-VISIBLE difference in my waist and hips. And my butt is not a dinner table sized for you to rest your drinks on either.

I just.. Ugh.. Why is being fat such a shameful thing? Why is it that people have to comment on my fat percentage? I’m fat. I know I’m fat. You know I’m fat. Everyone who can see me knows I’m fat. And everyone who interacts with me has that I’m fat lingering in the back of their mind as they word their sentences and observe my behavior.

And internet…Please just stop.tumblr_mcw1kzyZ8g1ro58ah

Stop.

Like.. ——>

I’m just trying to enjoy my taro tea. Thanks.

Edits, aka comments I didn’t think of when I originally wrote this

“Of all of the people who say,’Go to the gym!’ how many of them actually do? In my experience 0. ZERO PEOPLE!!!”

“Feminists aren’t ‘dumb.’ Feminists didn’t create or modify this word. People who were trying to be confident of their bodies couldn’t because when that say, ‘I’m okay in my fat’ all they can think of are people saying ‘Being fat is so unhealthy, you’re killing yourself, you’re shortening your lifespan,etc.’ Well.. If I fall and my fat breaks my fall I live. If you fall and your muscle tears/ your bone breaks, you’re temporarily handicapped. So there. A comment I can admit I made to feel better about myself and I will defend if for a maximum of 5 seconds. MERONG.”

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