Hi you guys! As you may or may not know, during my freshman year of highschool I had to deal with a few bad experiences, such as being rejected by a crush or social group, getting a bad grade, or losing a friend. Not only will these tips help with frustration and stress, they can also help with dealing with crushes before they hurt you or painful breakups.
So, I’m basically just going to go through a few different ways that I have found work really well for me to help deal with bad days and people who hurt even though they swear they aren’t apart of the problem.
The first method I’ve found that kind of helps with dealing with these things is the paper method.
So, to do this method, you just need a paper and writing utensil. It’s important that you are writing it down because this about expressing your emotions and you can’t really let your feelings out if you are typing.
The first thing I did was just write my crush’s name, or in your case the name of a crush or bad experience at the top. And then just write down everything that you liked about my him/her on the first half of the page, or whatever embarrassed or hurt you during the time. Anything I could think of. All of it. If you can’t fit it on the first half, use the whole page and use the back later.
Next, just step away from the paper for 5 minutes or more and try not to think about it. Maybe watch a cartoon or anime, or themed music video. Whatever you like. When your 5 minutes is up, come back to the paper and read everything you have written. Now, cross off all of the things that you are not 100% about. Like maybe they have the best smelling hair, or they’re the nicest, most beautiful person in the world or even something as simple as they are a good older brother to their younger siblings. Or, if writing about an experience, do the same things to feelings you’ve felt before, even as a child.
Now, cross of all of the things on the list that are in many of the other girls or guys, according to your preference, that are frequently around you. Like If you’re in high school and you’ve written that your person is tall, and there’s plenty of other tall guys in your school, cross that off. Even if you think they’re “ugly”. Just do it, like Nike.
For the other method, skip this step.
Once that’s finished, check off all of the things that are great about your person that you have seen in past crushes or relationships, or even qualities you have in yourself. Be sure to simply check these off and not cross them out. After you do this, make a list of all of the people you know with the unmarked qualities on the other half or back of the page. Even if they only have one. If you’ve marked or crossed off all of the qualities, just write down people that have at least 2 of the qualities you’ve marked.
For the experience method, erase any emotion that someone has told you about in the past month.
Then erase your the name of the page at the top. Then erase all of the things that have not been marked. Then sign your name over the list you have written.
I’ve found this method works for me because it lets me realize that this person isn’t as special as I thought they were, and makes me realize that I liked them because they reminded me of myself, or that the experience just makes me more human.
This next method is the bin method. I’m going to be honest, I found this method from watching a drama with a horrible ending. But it works for more stuff than just limerence if you’re interested in it.
For this method you’ll need many small pieces of paper, a writing utensil, two, separate containers that can hold all of the paper, and tape is optional.
The first thing you need to do is label each of the containers. One is the trash and the other is recycling. To do this, either:
Write it on two of the papers and tape it to your separate containers;
Write it on two of the papers and place them in front of the containers;
Or, simply write on your containers with your writing utensil.
Next, on one small piece of paper, write down something from your limerence. Something like an emotion, a situation, a habit you’ve picked up in result of your limerence or some other thing that has happened in your life because of your limerence.
Then, fold up your paper and put it in either your “recycling bin” or you “trash can”. The things you’ve written and put in your recycling bin are something that you don’t need right now, and that you are going to stop doing, using, or feeling for now, but can still use later. The things you’ve written and put in your trash can are things that you never, ever going to deal with again and by putting it in the trash can, you can “delete” it forever.
Continue doing this for all of the papers until you forget why you started, until you feel relieved, or at least until you feel like you can’t think of anything else to write down.
I like doing this because it not only helps with stress, but also I can use this to motivate myself positively by recycling sugar and trashing junk food or recycling expensive clothes and trashing man-made material shoes, or anything else.
The third and final method I’m going to mention is the oral/aural method.
To use this method you are simply going to need either your voice or the sound of angry rage music, and a friend or your crush/ex is optional.
The first way to use this method involves your voice and a friend or your crush/ex. For this, you are simply to tell them how you are feeling about them until you can’t think of anything else to say. You may end up breaking down and crying or getting angry and lashing out on a pillow, but trust me, once it’s all out, you will be left feeling a bit better.
Btw if you have a temper, you’ll be needing a pillow.
The second way to use this method is simply to say all of the things you would have told your person outloud so you can hear them. Tell yourself how you feel and make your emotions clear. Once you understand your position, you will feel a but better.
The third, and final way to use this method is with loud screamo or rocking music. If you can’t use your voice to communicate, whether you are mute or have temporarily lost your voice, simply turn the music as loud as you’re allowed to and scream out. Even if you aren’t making a sound, your negative energy is being released into the air and out of you, and the screams in the background can give you some satisfaction.
If you can use your voice however, simple go to the woods, a busy, loud place, or a sound proof room and just scream until you feel relief. If your been screaming for over 2 minutes and can’t find relieve, please try one of the other methods.
Well, this was my real life post about dealing with.. well… LIFE.
As you may or may not know, during my freshman year of highschool I had to deal with a few limerences.
A limerence is basically an unintentional, involuntary attraction to someone you know. INTENSE CRUSH MUCH? When you’re in limerence things can get a bit… How do you say…
Yeah. It’s a serious, mental situation. It can even make you sick. But through doing these few things I’ve gotten over them and am pretty okay as far as I know. Have a good night everyone!